Back to work

Just returned to work today after a few days off.

Life seems to be back on track and I feel comfortable in repeating the same routine job again, surprisingly. Why didn't I enjoy the few days off like what I anticipated while I was loaded with assignments and praying for a break? My instinct tells me that is because of the system/matrix of the world is firmly controlling me. In other word, what I truely want and what I am comfortable with are two different things.

I think most people would prefer to have more leisure time than working hours, especially ones have to work from nine to five, five days a week. I have the same thought. But I feel empty if I am not working. So, am I qualified to be termed as workaholic? I don't think so, I can never finish and attemp to finish all my work before I call it a day.

I guess deep inside me, I am looking for something and in the absence of the "real" something, I replace it with my career. So, that satisfies me a while before I start to complain about the hectic schedule again. Well, I don't think career is what I am looking for in life.

I have been a Christian for 11 years. I read the Bible and biblical articles quite often. Embarrass to admit that I did not recieve too much of enlightenment. But today I have this feeling to put all these in my newly created weblog, so I could come back sometime in the future to testify what I feel today. The "real" thing that I have been looking for is already in me. I just fail to recognise it. I have to recognise what God has done and arranged for me and be contented. This is yet the full meaning of it, but I can only write what I feel today.