The Death Of Gaddafi

NATO called an end to its air war in Libya, and the clan of Muammar Gaddafi demanded a chance to bury the body that lay on display in a meat locker after a death as brutal and chaotic as his 42-year rule.  I read this from The Star Newspaper today.


Starting a career in politic is just like getting into any other careers, it's a matter of choice. The difference is the motives behind that decision, perhaps luck and opportunity do play their roles. But ultimately, how ones pursue down the road is very much depending on individual decision, i.e. thier choice.


Not all politician will end up like Gaddafi, of course.  The food for thought, when ones get into Gaddifi's over-the-past-42-year position, most probably, he/she will be blinded by the possession of power and weath as well in such environment.  As a result, ones may ended up like Gaddafi, who knows.  


On the other hand, as a general public, we see things from our own perspective and we maintain a balance between what is humanly acceptable and what is not.  I believe that happened to Gaddafi as well before he came into power.  If he is still alive today but as another man on the street, perhaps he would see thing from a very different perspective as he being Gaddafi.


Hence, what is the morale of the story?


What we own and what we have possess us, not the other way around.  Do you reckon? we make comments base on our own background and who we are without really realising it. Perhaps Gaddafi got into his position and let life went on auto-cruise, and ended the way as it is. Should we take a pause, slow down our pace and do an evaluation on what and who we are at the present stage. See ourselve from, perhaps Gaddafi or any other person's perspectives.  Guess what would they think about us and how does that compare to our own value? Would any of these thoughts change our decision, or we may want to take a different route of life? Nevertheless, the best part is, we still alive and we still have time and opportunity, although not that much. Still, we can make a difference if we see it earlier.


Well, it's easier say than done, ultimately we live our own life and be responsible for it.  Hence bear the consequences of our choice.


Lastly, if you were in Gaddafi's shoes, will you ended up like him?  I invite your comments.

Next milestone of my life

It has been more than a year since my last update. Am I confused with what happened in life, or just simply lazy?

When I look back, besides those inevitable changes in life, my appetite for worldly material has subdued. I thought it was just transitional at first but the feeling persisted. I have waited long enough hence drawing a conclusion, reluctantly though, it's time for me to call it a "day".

Perhaps, I am influenced by the higher frequency of natural disasters in the globe; or ageing has catching up with me more vividly! I see things very differently from both physical and spiritual perspectives. My priority in life has swifted, what was important to me before has lost its merit, and what I have ignored deliberately its significant seems to catch my full attention gradually.

I know physical life is mortal not only from today, but I chose to ignore it and be blinded with chasing the "Malaysian dreams", the so called 5Cs. I have attained what I want sometime ago, but my greed tempted me to have insatiable upgrades. It is just like the bottomless blackhole, it sucks whatever come close and the satisfaction disappears in no time. The impact is I am slaved to the material world and blinded by the vainglory.

Do I want to repeat these for the rest of my life? I am bemused and questioning myself.

My duty as a son, I am fulfiling and able to continue to fulfill.

My duty as a husband and father, I am providing and able to continue to provide up to my children's independency.

Although I have scarce resources, I guess I could make ends meet with living a thrifty life.

Enough is enough, I murmured and trying my very best to convince myself that this is the right direction to go.

Work with God instead of work for man, I concluded.

It's my turn

What goes around comes around.

I know the feeling of both sides at last. I felt bad when I was assigned to do it to my fellow colleagues, and I know how it feels when the same is happening to me now.

Although I have prepared to face it since few years back, I feel lost still.

I have been working for the past 29 years and I am convinced that this is a blessing in disguise; to allow me to have a break as well as the opportunity to catch up with the latest development in the accounting industry.

Well, I am looking forward to the day that God has arranged for me, and trust that my new start will be even more exciting than previous experience.

I can now testify that I managed to take things easy is because of I am enjoying the amazing grace. I know I am okay. Not only that, I also know that my family will be okay. I have nothing to worry even though common sense tells me I have a lot to be worried about. It's great to have such opportunity to experience the grace of God.

Generation Gap or Being Forgetful??

Another year end holiday is over and my sons are back to schools already. My daughter and this old couple resume our quiet and routine life again back in Penang.

I enjoyed sharing good time with my children when they were all back home. Even just merely knowing the fact that they are around without having any conversation with them, I felt joyful and satiated. I am so proud to observe the way they shared their opinions and expressed their ideas among themselves. My sons are no longer gullible young boys, I am delighted to admit that their foresight has made me reconsider my stance sometime.

Well, that said, it also means what we thought is good for them may not always gain their agreements as it used to be anymore.

Alvin is a bright young man and brave enough to stand for his decision. I am proud of the way he handled difficult situation without compromising his choice despite his mother was holding on to an opposite opinion. Surely my wife was deeply disappointed but I saw a persistent young man fighting for what he wanted. Notwithstanding what is going to be the possible outcome of his decision today, I saw his self confidence and perseverance which are the essential elements to succeed. I am convinced that he deserves a chance to prove himself but I failed to convince my wife to do so. Perhaps, it's because my value is on a happy family and not so much on my personal preference. Afterall, I believe, preference is really personal. If he managed to pass 5 professional actuary papers before he completes his basic degree, he definitely deserves the benefits of the doubt.

Andrew and I were exploring The Secret. I have been practising visualization and reap some fruits. I am so eager to share with him my experience and pleased that he found it interesting and prepared to put what he newly acquired into practice. I do believe what he learned will benefit him for a long long time. He wanted, and hence, will be going to Pennsylvania for one year out-campus study. He managed to materialize his wish even before learning The Secret, I have high confidence that this son of mine, with his usual persistency, will do much better than we anticipated.

Serene is addicted to novels. From Twilight to New Moon, and what's next? Her PMR result was good but failed her mother's expectation. My little girl has her own little world by herself and, as parents, we could not find the door to her heart anymore. Her cyber world is all kept secret and the physical door of her room is also found shut most of the time recently. What is going on?

Well, my children is my world while their world is their own.

Is this generation gap? or am I being forgetful? I have been a teenagers before, of course, and I have gone through that path before, didn't I. Why am I questioning all these afterall?

Well, nature will take its course. All I only want is let my children be always happy.

Branches Of The Vine

Getting Old

I am getting old, I realized.

When my sons were staying with me, their companies were taken for granted. They spent their times at home doing what they wish while I glued myself to the seat in front of the TV. It seemed we live under the same roof but in different world. We heard each other’s laughter but not sharing the same joy. They grown up in a blink of eyes while my grey hair reminds me I have aged.

When they are away to pursue their tertiary education, I miss them more than I ever realize, but when they return home to spend their school holidays, I hold them in my arms with joy for minute but soon my attention was distracted by the LCD. Could I claim that I love them full-heartedly?

I missed the opportunity to share their childhood which I could defend with glorious excuses, that I worked hard away from home in order to provide them the best a father could possibly do. But now, the side effect of such vain excuses has taken over and it becomes part of our lives.

Dear Lord, what have I done to my relationship with my sons?

I know they love me, but we all know that something is missing. It’s that little rapport that make us “friend” is lacking, or it’s that straight face I had which deeply imprinted in their memories?

How I wish I can redo these all over again.

Young Lovers

Praise the Lord that my family is preserved and my children are living a healthy Church life.

Young adults are inquisitive and what life offers along their ways catches their attentions and interests. As time flees, parents tend to forget that our children have grown up and their perspective of life changes, i.e. they fall in love and see thing differently.

I was advised (if not warned) by a responsible brother who explicitly touched on this topic and I supposed to take precaution because my daughter wrote a little note to another brother. We had a closed door discussion with my young teenager and prayed that the puppy love will resolve.

The story did not end somehow and the sequel continues with our Church conducts weekly youth meeting. All teenagers get together to pursue biblical teachings as well as having fun. It’s normal that they contact each other through telephone. There is this young brother who calls my daughter regularly and their conversation is taking from half to one and a half hour normally, almost everyday. I got suspicious and talked to this young brother and advised him to concentrate on his study, and subsequently with the young boy’s concurrent I also talked with his father.

Situation did not change and my wife starts to worry.

Last night, my wife decided to talk with her “counterpart” (the boy’s mother) and hopefully both teenagers will divert their attentions to their studies instead of wasting time in chatting through phone. Our intention was to resolve it on a subtle way and nobody gets hurt.

I don’t believe in there is only “one right way” to handle situation, nevertheless the directive from our responsible brothers requested my daughter to ignore youth brothers’ phone calls. Since this is a consensus from the responsible ones, we chose to obey. Therefore, we feel obligated to inform the boy’s parents and hopefully thing will settle peacefully.

Somehow deep inside me I feel sorry for these kids. Perhaps it happened too early and in the wrong environment, or the evolvement of God’s creation has mutated where the physical clock of maturity is perceived as degraded nowadays!

Sense of belonging

I was deeply disappointed, when my wife told me that my son does not have sense of belonging to the home that we live. Of course, the discontentment was supported with reasons which I could buy off if I squeeze myself into his teenager’s shoes.

I took a step back and wonder, have I ignored the fact that his is a young man and not a little kid who still requires my “protection and guidance” now? Perhaps he is right. I have too many rules and expectations which did not earn his concurrence, and what I thought was good for him may be seen as an over-restriction.

Maybe reciting a few recent cases and do a post mortem. My son decided to sign up a course and subsequently changed his mind, we spent some money and hopefully he gains something out of the abandoned course. He had an accident and damaged the family car recently. He is obviously very green in handling crisis. We sorted it out for him and skipped the reprimand, believing he learned his lesson.

My finding over these incidents is his value for money is very low.

We concern, provide the best we believe and do not mind spending money for him, but we expect at least his appreciation. What else should we do next if he does not feel belonging?

Perhaps, he is too young to appreciate us and most probably he will be enlightened after his away-from-home university life.

We are looking forward to the day with open arms patiently.