Dispute 2: Tsunami in a cup.

The seemingly resolved dispute found its way to a sequel, just like a Hollywood blockbuster, the thrill and suspense remain.

We have an unexpected visitor last night. We were so excited to hear the message she brought. It seemed like a miracle and an answer to our prayer. She told my wife she felt uneasy spiritually and burdened to pay my wife a visit. The topic she touched on was exactly the answer that we prayed for. After she left my wife was still amazed by what she heard.

Unfortunately, the cat was out of the bag when my son returned.

We were extremely disappointed that my son actually washed our dirty linens in the public, and yes, your guess is right, the sister’s visit was the result of that laundry. We could not believe our ears that it spread so rapidly. To make it worse, the visiting sister is not the one that my son communicated with; she actually heard it from another sister. Dear Lord, what are we getting at?? Human is relying on their strenght to play God.

Well, it’s not difficult to imagine the excitement of the second episode. I was unprepared and get drown in the Tsunami. All I could see was an injured sheep is leaving the flock, and falling into the trap of the sneering devil. My son was deeply depressed and wordless.

I told my son to pray hard and stop the gossiping. He should fellowship with God primarily, and the Body, if he knows for sure that the person is qualified and will pray for him instead of disguising as a newscaster. It was a lose-lose night.

Thank God for a new day and a new perspective. I believe the bomb is harmless after its explosion. We still love our son and we trust that our prayers will heal the wound of the sadden sheep. The Tsunami was frightening, but with the blessing of the Lord, it took place in a cup.

Dispute.

My wife and my second son had a heated argument. The hot topic was my second son’s future plan.

My second son just obtained his SPM result and he really made our family proud. With the excitement, my wife wanted to know what my son has in mind for his future. Out of her surprise and shock of her life, my son told her that he wants to be a Fulltimer in serving God. They started to exchange words and it ended up with tears and disappointment.

I get to know this after I returned from work, and I called a family meeting.

Before I started the meeting, I was bombarded with various opinions and expectations. Although I trust my experience in handling such situation to come up with a win-win solution, I turned to God. I prayed to Him that I need him to work through me. I decided to discard my dispute handling skill and let God works through me.

It was a different experience. We managed to see each other’s opinions in a peaceful way in the discussion. We managed to draw a conclusion which wipe the tears on one hand, and mitigate the unduly pressure on the other.

We all agreed that, if my son is the chosen ones, no one could stop that from happening. Otherwise, human-will will not prevail. Hence, our worry is unnecessary and our argument was in vain. Just like Moses, when he was young, smart and energetic, he thought that he could serve God with his human strength, somehow he failed. God only called him after he lost all his natural strength at the age of 80. God wants us to depend on Him, NOT our human strength or our own will.

As parents, we made it a point that we want to hear our children’s opinion and give them their due respect. After all, they are responsible for their own life ultimately. Parents are only advisors and we should not expect our opinions to be adopted all the time, for a simple reason that we don’t know everything. Our gut feel of what is good for them may be damaging to them. We can only trust God with our prayers.

I share my wife’s observation. My son seems distant ever since he attended the 4-month-perfecting-training. Although I denied the accusation of influences from certain sisters-in-Christ, I somehow get sensitive when they phone my sons too often. I admire their servings to the Lord, but they created a feeling that they are isolating our sons from us subtly. My children obeyed their instructions more than their parents’. Am I too sensitive or that’s the work of the devil? Lord, please enlighten. I pray for peace in mind in handling this. I surrender my knowledge and I truly want You to work through me, my Lord.

Scholarship.

Every parent loves their children and they expect their children to excel and do well in life, I truly believe.

As time goes by, I tend to ignore the fact that my children have grown up. On the other hand, my children are being spoiled by our pampering. Human behavior is a product of habit. If I continue to disregard the fact that my children are old enough to take good care of themselves, that will limits their “growths”, at last I realized.

We thought we were caring parents. We planed most of the things for our children as we deem best for them. We promised to provide the best we could and we don’t want them to worry about even the least important matter in life. That has to stop. For we noticed that our children are participating willingly in all sorts of house work while they are away from home, but refuse to do the same at home. That puzzles us!! We also noticed that we are keener to plan for their academic advancements, i.e., application for scholarship, while they adopt a “couldn’t careless” attitude. That worries us.

What have possibly gone wrong? We scratch our heads and question ourselves.

At last we were enlightened, praise the Lord.

A butterfly has to struggle to break its cocoon before it flexes its colorful wings to fly high. If a caring-butterfly-father tries to mitigate the struggling by cutting a hole in the cocoon, the baby butterfly will miss the struggling which will equip it with the strength it needs to fly and worse still, the baby butterfly will die. The decease of the baby is caused by the love of the parent. Love kills sometime.

We decided to let go. My children are much smarter than we are, we are fully convinced. From now on, we will only provide the bare minimum financial assistance for their daily requirement, other than that, they have to fight for themselves to get what they want in life.

Oh Lord, thanks for the enlightenment and please walk with us throughout our lives.

Breakfast

Our body fasted over the night, please eat your breakfast before you rush to school every morning. I told my son anxiously.

My eldest son used to be quite plump. As a teenager, I admire his determination and persistency in reducing weight. He is in good shape now. It took me a few years to cultivate the habit of exercise, and it takes me even longer to change my eating habit which I am still struggling with. My son managed to outperform me. Excellent!!

My son is a science student and I am proud of his academic achievement. Nevertheless, my perception of him is he neglects the practical part of his Bio knowledge – he skips breakfast. As my wife observed, he looks tired and lost his zest as compare to his childhood.

I read the Bible and fairly happy with my progress. Somehow, I am still lacking in the aspect of life and nature of God. I get irritated easily and my temper is still a reflection of the evil. When I served my son the above tongue lashing, I realize that I am of no difference to him. My reading of Bible remains as knowledge just like my son’s bio knowledge – a pot calling the kettle black!!

As a Christian, I am delighted that the Spirit is enlightening me from time to time, even for a small matter like this one. The Spirit takes every single opportunity to educate and mold me, if I am willing to slow down and listen to Him.

Oh Lord, I don’t want knowledge, I want life. Thanks for the way to convert knowledge to life by prayer-reading you word.

As for my son, please eat your breakfast.

Prodigal son

My second son never feels home sick, he told his mother. His is away from home for about three months already.

I left my parents when I was thirteen to reside with my auntie to continue my study. I missed my family so much that midnight tears wet my pillow. My family lived from hand to mouth then and suffered tremendous material shortages, still more than half of my heart was always with them.

I love my son very much but that triggers nothing to him emotionally. I am not complaining, I am happy for him in deed. For a simple reason, I do not want him to go through what I have gone through.

He is coming back this Lord’s day. My wife is so excited and planning to cook his favorite dishes to welcome him back home, my prodigal son!!

What makes the difference between these two boys when they were away from home? I was home sick, felt empty and desperated, while my son is enjoying himself. For me, I was yet to know the Lord and had no vision of the Lord’s plan. On the other hand, for my son, I guess he is always at home. He is just blessed with the opportunity to be trained by the Lord in another locality, to get to know the Lord’s plan. Since he is at home, how could he be possibly home sick?

The Lord is with me and with him; we are sharing the same Spirit, we have many things in common. We are all at home; the Church is our real home. (7-Mar-06)

Father and daughter.

My daughter is in secondary school now. It’s a trendy thing that most teenagers carry mobile phones nowadays. I thought it’s alright to allow my little girl to have one as well, despite her elder brothers never ask for it. As a motivation to her, I bought her a brand new mobile phone before she obtains her PMR result. I told her I have confidence in her, and true enough her result was very good.

After a few months, her phone bills were getting higher. We discussed and had an agreement, but she was too addicted to keep the bill to the agreed minimum. On top of that, she finds it difficult to catch up with her study. My wife sends her to various tuitions and anticipates seeing improvement.

Reluctantly, I have to admit that my “love” to her has caused her to be addicted to the mobile phone. Despite I do not understand what fun does it has to just SMS to and from with one finger typing on a miserably small keyboard on a mobile phone, and that cost us hundred over Ringgit a month!!

Gee! I was the culprit not her, as my wife rightfully pointed out.

Sometime I do grumble when my prayer is not answered, crying “where are you, God?”. It’s really an eyes opener that my little girl has taught me a lesson from this experience. What a human father offered to his children’s request may not be in their best interests, as his children do not know exactly what they are asking for.

So do I, my Lord. I saw the pain my little girl has to suffer when I decided to withdraw her mobile phone. She was in tear even though she understood the reason why I did that. My heart was broken.

Thank you, Lord, for not giving me what I naively asked to save me from the withdrawal symptom and possible damage. With regards to my cry out to you, Lord, I hear your answer now. You have been with me all these while, that’s why I am living a happy life with your abundant supplies. Thanks and praise you, my Lord. (2-Mar-06)